April 1, 2005  
 

 

SSRL Research Reveals Hidden World of CoWs

By Heather Rock Woods

Researchers from the Scottish highlands using the PXYZ technique at SSRL have made the startling discovery that a cobalt-tungsten (CoW) alloy contains a resonant lattice of miniature bovine forms.

The CoW alloy clearly shows bovine forms.

“It’s a surprising, yet strangely fitting, result,” said Donaldson MacDonald, professor of chemistry and animal husbandry at Methodist Occupational Occident University (MOO U). “This is the first finding of mature bovine forms in a solid of less than 500 pounds.”

The MOO U team is booking more beam time at SSRL to answer further questions. “We still want to know: how did they get in there, and what do they subsist on?” MacDonald said by phone from his Campbeltown farm and research headquarters, EIEIO.

The answers promise to expand the horizons of science and revolutionize the dairy industry, giving ice cream... APRIL FOOLS!
 

 

The Stanford Linear Accelerator Center is managed by Stanford University for the US Department of Energy

Last update Friday April 01, 2005 by Emily Ball